The Unofficial Guide to Facebook Marketplace Etiquette
A guide for the enthusiastic buyer and cautious but caring seller.
You are scrolling Facebook marketplace on a random Tuesday morning and behold, there is a beautiful pine cabinet that someone has labeled as an entertainment center and listed it for an extremely great price. You quickly begin BACKSPACING the generic and preloaded text “is this available?” and cheerfully type out a thoughtful message that simply states, “Hello, I’m local and would like to pick this up. Please let me know what time/day is convenient for you.”
You may get a quick reply stating that they are available this afternoon after work but you may need to bring someone to help lift it. You may also get a reply that’s automated and makes your heart stop in it’s tracks and the words “SOLD” load into the message box. You may get no reply. The listing may mysteriously disappear.
Time and time again this scenario has played out for me as a buyer. There is also the classic “I read your message and can’t be bothered to reply to you” from the seller which is literally the little profile bubble of the seller showing up below you inquiry and is irritating because you know they read it, yet they can’t reply. So you might type another message asking for measurements or something to which they may fully ignore or finally reply to your first question you asked or continue to play “I read your message and can’t be bothered to reply to you” x 2.
Maybe it’s the way I grew up, “Treat others the way you want to be treated” but as a seller on Facebook Marketplace, I try to reply promptly and politely. Sometimes I may get a request overnight in which I can’t reply right then or maybe I get more than one request on the same item I’m trying to sell in which I will reply to the first one to come in (because they are time stamped) and then I will let the 2nd and 3rd inquiries know that there is someone ahead of them and will let them know if the sale falls through. That’s just good business. Acknowledge the person who is seeking to give you their money. You get money, they get thing - end of transaction.
Have we lost common courtesy even on the internet? If Facebook Marketplace were a brick and mortar store - the interactions would be much different. Sure, you may get asked for a couple bucks shaved off a price or receive a low-ball offer but for the most part, there would be business transactions had. “Here is my moneys and here is you the thing you bought with the moneys, good day.”
Here are my top tips as a buyer on Facebook Marketplace:
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES press the send button before you backspace and delete the automatic reply “Is this available?” Some folks will reply with the automatic reply option of “Yes, are you still interested"?” but for the most part, if you send the automatic reply - you are basically telling the seller that you are spam and will soon be asking if they have WhatsApp or whatever scam app scammers use. They will not reply to you.
If an item is close to you, let the person know that you are near that area and go ahead and tell them when you are available to pick up. Let them know right off the bat that you are serious and don’t want to waffle around. Strike! but with poise and strategic chill.
Offer cash. Cash is King. Sure, some sellers like Venmo or Cash app or PayPal friends and family but for the most part, Cash is well, cash. This helps when bargaining a lower price, if needed.
Save your reasonable offers for in person when you go to see the item. Don’t low ball offer over messenger or in person. Most sellers who are accustomed to selling second-hand are open to reasonable offers. They likely jacked the price up to ensure they would at least get their wanted price. If something is listed as $250, offer $225 or $200 if whatever it is isn’t well represented in the photos that drew you to it in the first place. Be polite and ask, “would you consider or entertain $x?”
If you don’t like it, don’t buy it. You drove to see it but you can say, you know what? I have changed my mind. This isn’t going to work. Don’t get mad because it’s nastier than it was in the photos or it smells like pall malls and they said it was in a smoke free home, just don’t buy it. It’s going to be ok.
Be kind and respectful of the seller’s time and your meet up time. If you change your mind, tell them BEFORE you meet up. Don’t wait until the last minute They are taking time out of their day to meet you. They will appreciate not having to meet you (for the most part). Just say, “ I’ve had a change of heart and no longer want your item but thank you so much for answering my message. Please pass it along to the next person.” They will appreciate not waiting for you in an empty parking lot at Walmart at rush hour on a weeknight wondering what happened to you. Should they call the police for a missing person? They don’t even know your full name or next of kin. Spare their tender heart.
Keep on Keeping on. People are weird. If you find something you like and the seller is rude - don’t deal with them. Not everyone on marketplace is like that. There will most definitely be more treasures. Well, that’s what I tell myself. There are some things that truly are “The one’s that got away” and sometimes I still think about the pine entertainment center and heart pine hanging corner cabinet that would have been perfect in my bathroom, but I digress.
If you are selling on Facebook Marketplace, here are a few things that have been extremely helpful for me as a seller:
Offer porch pick up. If you live in a busy neighborhood and don’t mind people coming up to your house, offer to leave your item for pick up during the day. People like not having to meet you and make small talk. They can leave cash under the mat or even better, accept Venmo so you know they have paid for your item and then shoot them your address. You can do this at work too if your boss is cool with it.
Meet at the Police station. I’ve actually done this a few times with questionable buyers and it’s great! No one has my address and I have the attention of my police department is someone is feeling froggy.
Be fair. If granny asked first about your item but Megan can pick up your item now with cash in hand, tell Megan that granny asked first and you’d let her know if it doesn’t work out with granny. First come, first serve. It’s also polite to let Megan know when granny finally does arrange pick up and gets your item with her grandson. Megan doesn’t deserve the automatic “sold” sign, she did nothing that deserves the seller cold shoulder. Think about Megan’s feelings. Sometimes, you may be Megan. She’s a nice lady. Also, help granny’s grandson load up that cupboard because he really didn’t want to come anyway. He wanted porch pick up. He also doesn’t want you to talk to granny, granny is a talker. The sooner he can leave, the better.
Don’t mess with holding items without payment especially for low price items. If someone pays in full, keep your items marked as pending just in case they don’t show up or change their mind. Paying in full usually means they’re serious and will come but on the off chance they do not come, you don’t want to discourage others who are still interested by marking it as sold before it’s picked up. It’s look suspicious as a buyer if something is sold and deleted and then suddenly re-listed and nobody has time to explain the situation. Refund money if the person reschedules multiple times and no-shows. You don’t have time to keep meeting up in a Walmart parking lot during rush hour on a weekday wondering if they were kidnapped. Refund them and move on to the next person. It’s a business transaction that was returned to sender too many times.
Keep it simple when it comes to shipping. Marketplace offers shipping but that can get a bit hairy if you are new to selling. Sell it for local pick up or meet up only until you are more familiar with the process. Shipping for fragile items gets hairy and can open you up to bad reviews even if it was out of your control.
Post all the details and pictures and scuffs and dingy spots and holes and stains in the photos and description. Take photos of the measurements! You can use a measurement app or use the ancient technique of using a tape measure. You want to be upfront and honest from the get-go especially if you intend to sell on Marketplace often. This builds trust and helps your ratings from people who buy from you.
Keep on Keeping on. You will get some weirdos who want to know about the chair behind the rug you are selling and if you’d consider selling it. You may get someone asking if you are downsizing because they want to buy your house. Be polite and diplomatic and treat the interactions as a business inquiry. Let them know that your house isn't for sale but you have a ton of great things listed. Let them know that the chair behind the rug isn’t available. No need to explain yourself.
Am I missing anything? Probably. Do you have a funny or odd experience from Facebook marketplace? What do you wish to see more in your interactions as a seller or Buyer? Let me know in the comments!
Not a funny experience, but I finally got my "deal of a lifetime" that I've always wished to fall to me. I went to a garage sale in my town and saw a coffee table that I immediately knew was worth money. It was mid-century modern and in really good condition. I purchased it for $55, thankfully found a maker's mark when I got it home, and resold on marketplace within a few weeks, with no work except polishing it up, for $450!
Interesting perspective, and I agree with most of this, but seller's points 3 & 4 are at odds with each other. Lots of people flake, so being fair to Granny just because she messaged first, means passing up someone showing up earlier with cash. Holding something for someone just because they messaged first, is the same thing as holding something without payment.